by Sallie
Living Word
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.  John 8:36
​
Word In Motion
I want to thank Cindy, Paula, Barbara and Debbie for the opportunity this evening to share a brief portion of my journey with Papa God.  These wonderful and loving ladies, of our Papa God, helped me to release some toxic baggage, experience Papa God’s Love (Full Throttle) and live a much happier life.

I have known Paula for over 18 years and met Cindy at an event Paula was hosting on behalf of the company she works for.  Paula immediately introduced me to Cindy and the brief time I spoke with her was very revealing as to how deep this woman’s love for Papa God is.  She filled in missing links for me on a very meaningful phrase I was using ‘Let Go and Let God’.  I knew there had to be more to this than what I knew there to be….And Cindy then filled in the missing link…’Let Go and Let God Go Before You!’ 

I was encouraged to attend the WIMM Women’s conferences for several years by Paula.  God finally made it clear that I needed to attend my first conference in October 2015. This was the best decision I made for myself.  I was able to meet the rest of these wonderful women, Barb and Debbie.  I also met some amazing women who were attending the Conference.  Through Cindy’s ministry expertise, I was able to release specific chains that bound me for most of my life. 

It is the first time I truly felt free from the chains my mother had bound me with!  My mother did the best she knew how to raise me and reprimand me.  I love her very much, as she was my mother.  I did not know how to accept encouraging words from Papa God or anyone else until Cindy, Paula, Barbara and Debbie helped me release myself from these binding chains. 

Cindy also ministered to me Papa God’s words that He LOVED me unconditionally and was proud of me, of which I was terrified and at the same time exhilarated to experience this revelation. This was truly a life altering event for me! I not only felt free from those binding chains, I also began to hear positive thoughts instead of negative self-talk.  As I left the conference, I made a pact and promise with Papa God and myself that I would focus on seeking to be truly happy in every aspect of my personal and work life.  I have received affirmations that I, in fact, have accomplished living a Happy Life!  I have had numerous people tell me that they noticed recently that I am a very happy person and that my smile is as big as the Grand Canyon.  It’s because these four ladies guided me and showed me the way to a deeper relationship with our Papa God.

I knew God was telling me his work was not done with me yet, as he had plans for me to attend the October 2016 Women’s Conference.  My work schedule and racing schedule shifted, amazingly, so I would be able to attend.  And I found myself thoroughly enjoying the Word of God through Cindy’s ministry.  The conference theme was ‘Come Away, My Beloved’.  It was the first time in my life that I received a Love Letter and it was so moving that – I, who am not a crier especially in public was bawling like a newborn baby wanting to be fed.  The two day conference flew by so fast and yet it left me feeling so very loved by our Papa God - way beyond my own comprehension. 

I know Papa God’s work is still not finished for me! I wake up wondering and with anticipated amazement as to what Papa God has in store for me. I have been truly amazed every day since!  And this truly puts a smile on my face! 

Thank you and God Bless Cindy, Paula, Barbara and Debbie for their unconditional love and dedication to help me and many more know how much Papa God loves us unconditionally! 

​by Joanna

Living Word: 
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have...  I Peter 3:15

 Word In Motion:
I attended for the first time one of the Word In Motion Ministries women's retreats in 2013 about Queen Ester – “Entering His Chambers”.

I have been involved in women’s ministry for more than 20 years and have attended many retreats in search of tools to find a deeper connection with God and to grow a bigger faith. But this first Word in Motion Ministries retreat has ruined me for all other women’s retreats!

At this particular retreat Cindy opened my brain to the concept of a sovereign God. Honestly, I could not spell the word “sovereign” in my notes. After that retreat not only could I spell “sovereign” but I came to a new revelation of a sovereign God who is to “reign” in and over my life. A sovereign God who is perfect in all ways and His love for me is perfect... All the time.

Just one of the unique aspects of the Word in Motion Ministries is that Cindy speaks a personal message of encouragement and declaration into each and every woman who attends the retreat. It is impossible to leave one of these retreats untouched by God’s love.
Beyond experiencing God’s great love for me, I have been able to dig out old lies and hurts and examine them in the light of God’s word, examine them in the truth of who God says I am, and to break off the lies and hurts and stand as a victor and overcomer and triumphant daughter of the King of Kings.

One example of breakthrough came during the conference “Thy Will Be Done” this last May. Because of deep sorrow at an early age, I put a limit on hopes and dreams because to dream for or attain all I can hope for or imagine meant that I would become vulnerable to the possibility of another great lose or disappointment.
​
But in examining the life of Joseph and his many loses and disappointments and YET see how the Lord was constantly at work in Joseph’s life story, I was able to reclaim abundant hope. To embrace joy. And to trust God's dream for my life because He will hold me with His righteous right hand. And when you know who’s you are and when you believe that Our God is Able.. Confidence in His calling on your life will follow.

Thank you so much Joanna for sharing your testimony with us.

 by Cindy Geyer

The Living Word
We can rejoice, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5

The Word In Motion
As some of you have read in the last couple years I have been dealing with a disease that has changed my life. What was once a life of go, go, go; has changed to stop, evaluate, and then go. My life has literally stopped. I now have to assess if I can even go grocery shopping today. 

The disease is Sarcoidosis - a hyper-immune disease which can affect all the organs in your body. It has affected my lungs, joints, lymphoids, and skin, it has its ups and downs. No one is sure how it starts or what causes it. Needless to say, it has been a very difficult journey. A journey that has brought me to a lot of different locations.  (For more info read the blogs Detours in life) 

This past year I have been in the location of "The pit of Despair" (said with Princess Bride inflection). What was new and difficult, became mundane and difficult. So the depression set in. Everyone else in my life has moved on. Their lives are still going at the pace I used to function in and mine has slowed way down, and it seems like they have left me behind. (Now, I know that is not entirely true, but seeing this through the eyes of discouragement tends to exaggerate things.)

Also the pain I am in can cause discouragement. When people see me, I don't look “sick”. It is a disease that is inward and not always discernible. I also don't like to let on that I am not doing well. (I am working on that one). Many people don't realize that my life has slowed, so they keep moving on, until they see me again. This leaves times of fellowship few and far between. I try to reach out, but being limited to times of physical ability, it is hard. Also, they have lives that need to keep moving and not stop on my account. (Told you, still working on it). 

So this depression sets in, not an easy thing to deal with. It can consume you and your perspective on life. Now, I don’t usually get so depressed, so this is a new experience for me.  Especially when I know without a doubt that God has a plan in all this and that He turns all things to good! I also know that I am healed!! Whether it is seen now or in the future I am healed.

 So I say all this to tell you about a special time I had with the Lord the other day. It was one of those days that I was in a lot of pain and not feeling I could get up, but I wanted to go to church. So I went. As I was in worship the pain and weakness got really bad. I cried out to Papa God, “Why am I in this position, O Lord… Pain, weakness, tired, alone in a pit of despair.” I just started to cry. Then the Lord spoke to my heart and showed me a picture.

I was in this deep pit, no way to climb out, with a shaft of light shining down on my collapsed body. "This is not a pit of despair my daughter...this is a position of honor!" What? How can this be? I am in a pit, alone and in pain. "My precious one I have chosen you for this time. I have placed you in this position to bring glory to my Name. It is a position of honor that I have placed you in. That it is a pit of despair is a perspective your flesh has made it to be. I have chosen this as a place of honor to bring glory to my name." Now I need to tell you that at first I was, like, could you choose a different place for this position. (Sarcoidosis is not what I would have wanted.) My discouragement was so overwhelming that I almost missed what Papa God was revealing to me. But then the picture of the pit started to change. The light was not just on me it got wider.

It says in Psalm 40 that when we cry out, He listens and lifts us up out of the pit of despair and gives us a firm place to stand. That firm place is His UNFAILING LOVE!! The firm place is his love for me, it gives me the ability to stand firmly and not sink in the mire of my discouragement. I learned that day that my fleshly perspective is a lonely pit of despair but with His unfailing-love-perspective (the shaft of light) I could see others in the pit with me. I saw their pain and suffering, loneliness, and fear. I saw people who needed hope and an understanding of God's unfailing love for them in the midst of their pain. I understood. I was in a position (of honor) to reveal God's love and hope to those I would not be able to reach if it wasn't for my disease. A light in the darkness to bring glory to His name. Wow! what a perspective change. He does turn all things to good. It's not all about me and my pain. It is about how God uses my suffering to reveal His goodness to others.

Now does that change my circumstances? No, I still have to deal with this disease and at times my discouragement, but Papa God always reminds me of His promises. * His understanding of what I am going through no one can fathom. He never grows tired or weary of helping me when I am weak. His unfailing love is always underneath me supporting my life. He is always faithful and He loves me unconditionally. His plan for me is to prosper not to harm me and to give me a hope and a future. These are truths that I believe with all my heart and they give me strength and joy every day. This is what I need to share with those who are suffering.  

He has put me in a position of honor. He trusts me to reveal His love and faithfulness to others. During this time, I have been able to encourage more people than I have ever imagined. Nurses, techs, doctors, admissions, and so on. People I would never have reached if it wasn’t for this sickness. They ask me, “How can you be so positive when you are so sick?” I just look at them and say “God.” My position opens doors to reveal His glory.

Many of you are suffering and need a word of hope. Read the truth of who God is in the paragraph above *. He is a faithful God in all things.

For others of you who are suffering, you need to be reminded of who God is and that you are in a position of honor to bring glory to Him. What are you reflecting on while in your pit? It is not all about you. He is trusting you to reveal to others what He has been to you. What do your actions and statements reveal?  

A position of honor is a place of surrender and responsibility. To surrender your perspective/selfishness and take on the responsibility of bringing glory to His name. Reveal who God is in the dark places of your life so others may see an amazing God who never leaves nor forsakes them. One who never fails and always loves unconditionally.  AMEN!

Our sufferings are our places of honor. It is not about how we feel, it is about who Papa God is.  We are in Positions of Honor to bring glory to his name. 


Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial that has come upon you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed at the revelation of His glory. I Peter 4:12-13

The Living Word: Nehemiah 8:10 b
"...Don’t be dejected and sad,
for the Joy of the Lord is your strength!" 

The Word In Motion:
The Definition of Strength
 state of being strong, endurance, power of resisting attack, force of an army
ability to deal with problems in a determined and effective way, 
ability that makes one effective or useful.

Now...take one of the definitions that fits your situation
and put it in the place of the word STRENGTH. 
The Joy of the Lord is my _________________

​​Example: The Joy of the Lord is my endurance.
His joy is my ability to endure
His joy is my ability to resist
His joy is my ability to be effective in this world..

WOW!  His joy, HIS JOY,
changes our perspectives and enhances our abilities. It give us the strength to endure. 
What do you need right now in your circumstances. Ask for His Joy to fill you and give you strength to endure, or resist, or to be effective.

This joy is a gift. He is offering it to you. All you have to do is receive. 
What activates this gift or the batteries it needs is... Praise and Trust.

Paul in Philippians states: Rejoice in the Lord at all times.
Isaiah states: put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
David states: God is his strength, I trust Him always and  my heart is full of JOY!

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 (NIV)

Joy isn't just happiness - It is the substance of contentment. It is trust in the knowledge, no the fact that God is ever-present, in control of all things, faithful, never grows weary, and He understands better than anyone else what is going on in our lives.

He is hope and He is joy.
Let His Joy flow through you now. Let your soul rejoice in Him.
HE IS YOUR STRENGTH!
 your moral strength
your character strength 
your inner strength

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Ps 28:7

by Don Geyer

The Living Word
Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’ Isaiah 46:9-10
​
​The Word In Motion
“A priest, a Baptist minister, and a Pentecostal walk into a bar.” What’s next? What would you expect to hear after an opener like that? A joke, right? But what if the next thing I told you was that they had a cross-denominational revival and 50 people got saved? Now, if I told you to expect the unexpected, “national revival” is what you would think.

Having grown up with ten brothers, Joe was used to fits of jealousy and outbursts of rage. Being one of the youngest of the brood, he often was the recipient of the brunt of their frustrations. He was also the instigator of much of them. He was his father’s favorite. So when they threw him in a well, he figured one of them would eventually let him out. When they finally came for him, he was thoroughly frustrated himself. Dripping wet they hauled him up only to sell him to some passers-by. This wasn’t like before. A sense of dread came over him. The rest of his life was going to be a living hell. He expected he would serve one master after another for the rest of his miserable life with no chance of ever seeing his beloved father again.

An old shepherd was walking through the dessert. In his 80 years he had seen his share of strange things. Some distance away, at the foot of a mountain in the middle of a long shadow cast by a blistering hot sun was a little thorn bush. Nothing unusual so far. But this one was on fire. Still nothing all that awe-inspiring. What caught the shepherd’s eye at first was the light. He walked toward it, expecting it to be someone’s campfire. As he approached he saw that no one was around. He expected the fire to die down to a few glowing embers and eventually go out.
​
​A seasoned warrior king, a conqueror of nations, a well-traveled man, had seen it all. He had servants from all over the world. His empire glistened with the greatest talents from anywhere in the entire world. He was advised by the wisest words of wisdom from the world’s greatest minds. At a party in his honor, as all of them were, a few rabble-rousers made him angry. No, furious. Did not these puny peasants know that he had the power to destroy them?! Even when confronted, these men refused to pay him homage. He was beyond angry, furious didn’t even do him justice. He couldn’t control himself. He had his workers heat the furnace, which had just days before melted the metal for his immense statue, to seven times hotter than it had been for that purpose. At a hundred yard he could feel the intensity of the heat. He had his royal guards take the men up the ramp to fueling side of the furnace to throw those vile villains into the flames. His own guards couldn’t even take the heat and perished on the way. The three bound men were momentarily on their own. Knowing that their fate lie in the depths of the melting pot, they jumped in. Despite losing his best men the king’s fierce anger was momentarily abated when the bound prisoners lept into the blazing inferno. He expected there to be shrieks of exquisite torment as their flesh melted off their bones.

The Bible is full of stories where something happens to someone and that someone expects something, but that something never materializes. Instead, something else entirely happens and that someone is required to adjust their expectations. And as they do, God begins to do some marvelous things.

Joseph served his master well. But still all did not go well. He landed in prison and was forgotten by “friends”. He could have given in to despair and just quit living altogether. But he wasn’t your average Joe. From the time he had his first dreams where his brothers and father bowed down to him, Joseph had some pretty high expectations of God. With no idea how God would pull it off, he served where he found himself whether in Potiphar’s house or in prison. He kept his high expectations of God and God lived up to those expectations. He ended up being the number two person in all of ancient Egypt! That was unexpected.

Moses noticed that the bush was not consumed. The time it took him to walk over to the bush should have seen the bush reduced to embers – at least. In the brilliance of the flames, the old man could still make out the smallest of branches and every leaf. The wonder of the burning bush drew him in. Cautiously, he approached. He didn’t want that kind of fire on him! And then it spoke! That was unexpected. Moses went on to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Along the way he learned to follow God’s instructions and developed a habit of adjusting his expectations. He had to. With each of the plagues he expected God to set his people free. By the time the Israelites got to the Red Sea Moses was beginning to get it. He raised his expectations to the level God could act, and entire army was annihilated and a nation saved.
That was unexpected.

Not believing his own eyes, Nebuchadnezzar saw not three prisoners but four, and none of them bound, none of them shrieking, none of them harmed in any way! Not only that, but the forth man was glowing so bright that the fire seemed pale in comparison. That was unexpected. Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah met the fourth man in the furnace. Immediately, they knew they had to adjust their expectations upward. Before going in they were confident in God’s ability to save. But what now? Obviously, it had to be great. That kind of saving doesn’t just happen every day does it? Nebuchadnezzar no longer demanded people worship him, he changed his tune and gave praise to God. The course of the nation changed.
That was unexpected.

​The world would tell you, “Lower your expectations so you don’t get hurt.” Or “I can’t live up to your expectations, and you can’t live up to mine, so we just shouldn’t have any.” God, on the other hand, wants us to raise our expectations. He wants us to expect great things from Him. All too often our problems lie in the fact that we don’t have high enough expectations and we think God doesn’t want to – no, won’t - meet those expectations.
God wants us to have high enough expectations that He can meet them without compromising Himself in the process.

If He met your less-than-spectacular expectations (which may be high enough for you), what would that be saying about Him? Oh, ye of little faith. Go beyond the normal expectations – that which merely should be – and reach for more. Expect the unexpected!

Expect God to do what only He can. Oh, you’re circumstances are overwhelming? No, they should be overwhelmed! Your circumstances are merely a platform on which God can perform! That sounds dangerously close to HOPE!
​Well, that was unexpected.

​by Don Geyer

The Living Word
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.   Ephesians 3:20
​
The Word In Motion
“A priest, a Baptist minister, and a Pentecostal walk into a bar.” What’s next? What would you expect to hear after an opener like that? A joke, right? But what if the next thing I told you was that they had a cross-denominational revival and 50 people got saved? Now, if I told you to expect the unexpected, “national revival” is what you would think.

Having grown up with ten brothers, Joe was used to fits of jealousy and outbursts of rage. Being one of the youngest of the brood, he often was the recipient of the brunt of their frustrations. He was also the instigator of much of them. He was his father’s favorite. So when they threw him in a well, he figured one of them would eventually let him out. When they finally came for him, he was thoroughly frustrated himself. Dripping wet they hauled him up only to sell him to some passers-by. This wasn’t like before. A sense of dread came over him. The rest of his life was going to be a living hell. He expected he would serve one master after another for the rest of his miserable life with no chance of ever seeing his beloved father again.

An old shepherd was walking through the dessert. In his 80 years he had seen his share of strange things. Some distance away, at the foot of a mountain in the middle of a long shadow cast by a blistering hot sun was a little thorn bush. Nothing unusual so far. But this one was on fire. Still nothing all that awe-inspiring. What caught the shepherd’s eye at first was the light. He walked toward it, expecting it to be someone’s campfire. As he approached he saw that no one was around. He expected the fire to die down to a few glowing embers and eventually go out.

A seasoned warrior king, a conqueror of nations, a well-traveled man, had seen it all. He had servants from all over the world. His empire glistened with the greatest talents from anywhere in the entire world. He was advised by the wisest words of wisdom from the world’s greatest minds. At a party in his honor, as all of them were, a few rabble-rousers made him angry. No, furious. Did not these puny peasants know that he had the power to destroy them?! Even when confronted, these men refused to pay him homage. He was beyond angry, furious didn’t even do him justice. He couldn’t control himself. He had his workers heat the furnace, which had just days before melted the metal for his immense statue, to seven times hotter than it had been for that purpose. At a hundred yard he could feel the intensity of the heat. He had his royal guards take the men up the ramp to fueling side of the furnace to throw those vile villains into the flames. His own guards couldn’t even take the heat and perished on the way. The three bound men were momentarily on their own. Knowing that their fate lie in the depths of the melting pot, they jumped in.
Despite losing his best men the king’s fierce anger was momentarily abated when the bound prisoners leapt into the blazing inferno. He expected there to be shrieks of exquisite torment as their flesh melted off their bones.

The Bible is full of stories where something happens to someone and that someone expects something, but that something never materializes. Instead, something else entirely happens and that someone is required to adjust their expectations. And as they do, God begins to do some marvelous things.

Joseph served his master well. But still all did not go well. He landed in prison and was forgotten by “friends”. He could have given in to despair and just quit living altogether. But he wasn’t your average joe. From the time he had his first dreams where his brothers and father bowed down to him, Joseph had some pretty high expectations of God. With no idea how God would pull it off, he served where he found himself whether in Potiphar’s house or in prison. He kept his high expectations of God and God lived up to those expectations. He ended up being the number two person in all of ancient Egypt! That was unexpected.

Moses noticed that the bush was not consumed. The time it took him to walk over to the bush should have seen the bush reduced to embers – at least. In the brilliance of the flames, the old man could still make out the smallest of branches and every leaf. The wonder of the burning bush drew him in. Cautiously, he approached. He didn’t want that kind of fire on him! And then it spoke! That was unexpected. Moses went on to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Along the way he learned to follow God’s instructions and developed a habit of adjusting his expectations. He had to. With each of the plagues he expected God to set his people free. By the time the Israelites got to the Red Sea Moses was beginning to get it. He raised his expectations to the level God could act, and entire army was annihilated and a nation saved.

Not believing his own eyes, Nebuchadnezzar saw not three prisoners but four, and none of them bound, none of them shrieking, none of them harmed in any way! Not only that, but the forth man was glowing so bright that the fire seemed pale in comparison. That was unexpected.

Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah met the fourth man in the furnace. Immediately, they knew they had to adjust their expectations upward. Before going in they were confident in God’s ability to save. But what now? Obviously, it had to be great. That kind of saving doesn’t just happen every day does it? Nebuchadnezzar no longer demanded people worship him, he changed his tune and gave praise to God. The course of the nation changed. That was unexpected.

The world would tell you, “Lower your expectations so you don’t get hurt.” Or “I can’t live up to your expectations, and you can’t live up to mine, so we just shouldn’t have any.” God, on the other hand, wants us to raise our expectations of Him. He wants us to expect great things from Him. All too often our problems lie in the fact that we don’t have high enough expectations and God doesn’t want to – no, won’t - meet those low expectations. He wants us to have high enough expectations that He can meet them without compromising Himself in the process. If He met your less-than-spectacular expectations (which may be high enough for you), what would that be saying about Him? Oh, ye of little faith. Go beyond the normal expectations – that which merely should be – and reach for more. Expect the unexpected! Expect God to do what only He can.

No, you’re circumstances shouldn't be overwhelming, they should be overwhelmed!
Your circumstances are merely a platform on which God can perform!
​That sounds dangerously close to HOPE!  Well, that was unexpected.

Living Word:
Jeremiah 29:12-13 - Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

Word In Motion:
​I am here. I am listening. Do you hear me? Is the world that much of a distraction? Can you remember who I am? I am knocking. Is anyone going to answer? 

I am seeking the ones who are passionate about life. Not the life the world gives but the life I give. Don't let the flame go out, due to discouragement or unforgiveness. Don't let the fire go out due to pride and anger. Don't let the spark go out due to fear. Fan the flame by Remembering Me!

​I am the one who saves. I am the one who redeems lives. I am the one who heals. I am the one who restores what is broken. I am the one who loves unconditionally. I am the one who passionately cries out before God on your behalf. I am the one who gave all to have all with you. I am the way, the truth, and the life. I AM! 

Come to me all who are weary, broken, lost, confused, heavy burdened,
And I Will, give you rest, strength, and wisdom. (Mt 11:28)

by Cindy Geyer

The Living Word:
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God...    Psalm 46:1-3, 10a

The Word In Motion:
It was just quiet. Quiet BUT not silent… I knew God was there with me. A lot of people think the quiet is that, God is missing. “Where are you God?” is the question that gets asked. It may be quiet but I promise God is still there – He’s still here. It is quiet, but He is not silent. He is still with me and directing me during this time. I am not alone. He has not abandoned me. He was the flagger on the road saying, “take this detour.” He directed me to this path. The destination is still the same, just a different route.  
 
So now I’ve developed this cough that won’t quit. I have had bronchitis and pneumonia before, but this cough was worse. When I started coughing I could not stop. I also had this pressure on my chest that made it hard to breathe. So went to my primary care to see what was going on. They took an x-ray and told me that they wanted me to get a CT scan. While waiting for them to schedule that appt., my chest pressure/pain, my voice ( I could barely talk) and my breathing were getting worse. I called the nurse and she said for me to go to ER. They did the CT scan and then sent me to pulmonology. At the same time that this was going on, my doctor had my blood tested for pneumonia and tuberculous. They came out negative, but the CT scan showed some masses in my chest. When I got to the pulmonologist he said that they needed to do a biopsy of the lymph nodes and the granulomas that were in my lungs. He felt it was either lymphoma or a disease called Sarcoidosis. So a biopsy was scheduled for the next week. 

• I know that I am not done yet.  God still has a plan for me. 

I was told that after the biopsy I would be down for a week and I could not lift anything over 3 lbs for 4 weeks. So there I was in pain from whatever I have raging through my body and now dealing with incisions in my side and the pain from the surgery. Also, it was the holidays. So how am I supposed to cook Thanksgiving? How do I get my house ready for Christmas? How do I shop for my family and do all the traditions we have fun doing? 

• I know that I am not done yet.  God still has a plan for me. 

I struggled with these questions a lot. Why this detour God? What is the purpose for this? People quote Jeremiah 29, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. I know He has all this in His hands and he will not leave me. But Papa God, do you realize all that my life, as a mom, entails, especially during the holidays? 

It is hard as a mom to come to a place where you cannot do anything. I was sitting watching my family moving and carrying on, but I was stuck on the couch in pain. I couldn’t even cook dinner. Help me, God, to see the good in all of this. 

Well, after Thanksgiving the diagnosis came back. You do not have lymphoma, but you do have Sarcoidosis. I praised God when they told me I didn’t have lymphoma. I didn’t have cancer.  

Now at this time I felt very relieved, I don’t have cancer and many others said the same thing to me. Almost responding with “its only Sarcoidosis.” But as I am learning more about Sarcoidosis… I’m not sure that it is any better.  I have been diagnosed with a hyper-immune disease. Here is  some information to help explain this disease. 
 
Sarcoidosis - is a rare inflammatory disease that affects multiple organs in the body, it causes heightened immunity, which means that a person’s immune system, which normally protects the body from infection and disease, overreacts, resulting in damage to the body’s own tissues. It causes abnormal masses called granulomas. These granulomas may alter the normal structure and possibly the function of the affected organ(s). The disease can and usually does affect others organs, too, including (but not limited to) the skin, eyes, liver, salivary glands, sinuses, kidneys, heart, the muscles and bones, and the brain and nervous system. 
 
No one knows exactly what causes Sarcoidosis – and there is no cure.  
 
I have the granulomas in the lungs, and the lymph nodes in my chest are so swollen they are pushing against my aorta (hence the chest pain). This has them very concerned.  
So treatment is “immune suppression therapy”. Remember earlier when I mentioned that I felt I shouldn’t take prednisone in the beginning? Well, my pulmonologist was very glad I didn’t take it. It would have masked my symptoms and they wouldn’t have been able to find out what was wrong. I would have just gotten worse until I was in a chronic state. Praise God, I listened to that still small voice! (Quiet but not Silent). But now that they know… prednisone is the main part of the treatment.

They suppress the immune system to reduce swelling and stop my immune system from hurting me.  I am on several medication to help me with this. The side effect is, I can get sick easier. So have to be very careful when I go out and who comes over. The decision to take the medications that I needed, was very hard for me. I don’t like meds or the side effects of them. The doctor put it very directly to me: “Cindy, you have a disease that is very serious and you can die from it, if we don’t do this. We have to get the inflammation down in the lymph nodes. They are pushing on your aorta and the granulomas will keep growing.” This kind of helped me with my decision. (You think?) I still had to wait the 3 weeks for my biopsy incisions to heal before I could even start this regime and get some relief. This made the holidays very interesting needless to say. 

So... this therapy is a wait and see therapy. At some point they will lessen the meds and we will wait to see if the Sarcoidosis has calmed down.  This will not cure it, it will only calm it down. We don't know what will trigger it to activate or even where in my body it will become active. And so we wait.

The detour is a different path to my destination, but is it a bad path? I never knew I would be in this situation. I didn't plan for this. Sometimes I am unable to move or help my family with simple daily things. I can’t go out due to the immune suppression. We were told, that if I got sick I would probably end up in the hospital. Basically I don’t have a working immune system. People are always recommending all these things to help me, but with this disease if my body sees it as a foreign substance it will attack it and then it will attack me! So everything needs to be carefully studied before I can breathe it, ingest it, or use it. I have moved into the twilight zone of Sarcoidosis. 

In Lamentations 3: verses 18 through 26, it says 
So I say, “My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord.” 
 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. 
 I well remember them,  and my soul is downcast within me. 

This is a time that I could wallow, be discouraged, and even angry. As Solomon so succinctly says, “I well remember my affliction: and my soul is downcast” Yes, I do get discouraged and frustrated but I refuse to wallow. I want to do what Solomon does next… He says YET!   Yet, this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: 

What does he call to mind? What does he remember that gives him hope?

I need to remember what he calls to mind, because now there is a concern that the Sarcoidosis has become active in my heart. 
 
More to follow - look for part 4

by Cindy Geyer

The Living Word: I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the
                    gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call
                    to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not
                    consumed, for his compassions never fail.  Lamentations 3:19-22

The Word in Motion:
Little did I know how long this detour was going to be.
 
As I entered the conference room that Sunday morning, the only thing I could think of was that God had called me for a purpose. He had me in the palm of His hand. “Be at rest, Cindy, and trust Me in the fire.” The conference was amazing but by the end of the day all my symptoms had increased in intensity. It is hard to explain the pain I was in. On Monday morning, I could barely walk the pain was so intense. My ankles and feet were so swollen. The rash was unbearable. Every joint in my body hurt. My husband said, “That’s it, we are going to the doctor.” We went to the doctor and he wasn’t even sure what was going on. His first thought was that it was an allergic reaction to something. So the blood tests began. My doctor gave me every kind of blood test he could think of. He even called infectious disease to see if there was anything that they thought I should do. When he exhausted his thoughts, he sent me to dermatology about the rash and granulomas that were growing on my hands and feet. The dermatologist did a biopsy and checked out the rash. It was not skin cancer, praise God. She called it erythema nodosome. She then referred me to rheumatology. Rheumatology checked out the swelling of the joints and the rash, it was not rheumatoid arthritis, but my inflammation markers were extremely high. He wanted to start me on prednisone. This is where I said “No.” I knew the side effects and the risks with diabetes. I wanted to know what was going on before I threw meds at it. He did agreed with the dermatologist that the rash was erythema nodosome. He wasn’t exactly sure what the swelling was though. So, he sent me home saying it may go away on its own. He told me to keep taking the Ibuprofen every 6 hours for pain and to touch base with him if my symptoms got any worse.
 
This journey wasn’t just a detour. It also had a giant stop sign. I was now in a position that I couldn’t walk or get up on my own. I had to have my husband and boys lift me from the couch or my bed to go to the bathroom. I couldn’t even use my hands. No cooking, cleaning, typing, writing, I couldn’t even crochet. It was pitiful. The swelling, the granulomas and the pain made it impossible to do things on my own. I was not eating much and losing weight fast. All of these things concerned us and the doctors, but no one knew what was going on.
 
The strange thing during this time (2 long months) was… I wasn’t afraid. I was in pain and frustrated with my body -- but not afraid. I knew God was there with me. I was sure He was the flagger on the road saying, “take this detour.” Does this mean I was at peace and calm? No, this was one of the hardest and most painful times in my life. It was rough on my family, also. It was also a very lonely time. How do you explain to people what is wrong when you don’t even know?  People would ask me, “Well, God must be speaking to you during this time then. What is He revealing to you? Anything profound?” I was not hearing anything profound.  It was just quiet. Quiet BUT not silent. I knew He was there. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me!” Psalm 23.

I had this profound sense of peace. Yes, I would get emotional and, at times, even angry, but my spirit and my mind were assured of God’s purpose in all of this.

You know how you desire to come to a place where you just trust and not fear? But, normally when things happen you go to the worry and complaining stage instead, even though you really want to arrive at that place of trust. Well, this is what I was experiencing:  that place of trust. Kind of the calm in the eye of the storm.

Then the severe coughing started and I was having a very hard time breathing. I had pressure on my chest that felt like a weight pressing down on me to smother me. This time I got sent to Pulmonology.

The detour has now turned into a gravel road with pot holes and sharp turns. It is getting a lot harder to navigate and I don’t know if I want to be on it anymore. I just want to go home.
​
What now God? What is wrong with me?


​
More to follow: look  for Part 3

by Cindy Geyer

Living Word:  
“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”  Hebrews 10:23

​The Word In Motion:
When we say, “I hope” what are we actually saying? Do we really express it in the way it is supposed to mean? No, we tend to express it like a wish. "I hope so - but I'm not sure",  "Maybe things will get better", "I hope I can", etc...  we express it weakly like a dream.  I know in my life I have expressed it weakly. But I have learned a new and renewed meaning of hope.  That it is a positive attitude! An assured profession of faith!
 
“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”  Hope is not a wish in this verse. It is positive assurance. We are told to hold onto it with a grip that will not let go.  To know, that you know, He who promised is faithful and to express that faith in Him as a positive expression of HOPE. My hope is in Him. He will not fail. No wishful thinking, just positive attitude. For He is my HOPE.
 
Zechariah 9:12 declares: “Return to the fortress, O prisoners  who have hope;  For this very day I am declaring that I will restore double to you.”  Return to your refuge? What or where is my refuge?  
 
“God is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 
Return to your place of security. Return to the God who is our deliverer, our provider, our strength, and our peace. Hope is being certain of these things. It is where we rise above our doubts and fears and declare with absolute understanding that “He who promised is faithful!” 
 
"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength” Isaiah 40.31. 
Our hope grows stronger through the trials we face, not weaker turning into a wish. Romans 5:3-5 states,  And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
 
Our struggles “produces perseverance, character, and hope.”  This hope does not disappoint us, BECAUSE God has poured out His unfailing love. Hope should dispel fear and worry not entwined with it. I hope so, Maybe, I wish....are all statements with worry mixed in and hope is weak, Deferred. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” Proverbs 13:12a
 
So how do we change our weak hope to be positive assurance and not wishful thinking? 
 
Remember: Hope is absolute confidence in the Eternal God. He is HOPE.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose....so what then shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with his son, graciously  give us all things? “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No IN ALL THINGS we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us!!!” Romans 8:28-39 (emphasis added.)

I say it again: Hope is absolute assurance, confidence, and understanding that God will do what He promises. WOW!  
 
A few of years ago our lives were in a place of "what do we do now?" (My husband was laid off, we were losing our home, no money for bills even at times food. We were in a bad car accident, I had cancer, my oldest son was in a bicycle accident with a severe concussion and loss of memory, broken...) I could go on and on. It was a very discouraging and fearful time, and the Lord keep asking me, “In whom/in what do you trust? In whom/in what do you place your hope?”  He led me to Laminations 3:17-25.  I love these verses because it described my heart perfectly.
Woe is me!
“I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say my splendor is gone and all that I hoped from the Lord.  I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.  I well remember them and my soul is downcast within me.” 
 
This is where God was gently reminding me of how well I remember them, all day, every minute, actually coming to a place of complaining and whining. A place of wishful thinking. Then He said read on: “Yet…” This is the point where I knew I was going to have a heart change. Every time God uses “YET,” it means my perspective has to change. 
“Yet, this I call to mind and therefore I have Hope! Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassion's never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.’ The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord!” 
 
Wow! He turned my tears of sadness, worry and complaining into words of hope and absolute confidence. Yet, this I call to my mind and therefore I HAVE HOPE! He is faithful!!! 
 
Closing: Do you need a perspective change, too?  In what or in whom do you place your hope? Hope is not wishful thinking. Hope is positive assurance. It is where we rise above our circumstances, our doubts and our fears and declare with absolute certainty and with attitude, that God is faithful to all His promises, and we hold unswervingly to that hope that we profess!
 
My prayer for you: “May the God of all hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Romans 15:13